Just for giggles

What do you call a scared biscuit ?
A cowardy custard cream !
What do you call a man whose father was a Canon ?
A son of a gun !
What do you call a man with two left feet ?
Whatever you like - if he tries to catch you he'll just run round in circles !
What do you call a weekly television programme about people getting washed ?
A soap opera !
What do you call a flock of birds who fly in formation ?
The red sparrows !
What do you call a bee that is always complaining ?
A grumble bee !
What would you call a friend who had an elephant on his head ?
A flatmate !
What do you call a posh pig delivering newspapers ?
Bacon rind !
What do you call a teacher who makes fireworks ?
A head banger !
What do you call a man that drills holes in teapots ?
A potholer !

What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath ?
Polly unsaturated !

What do you call a dentist in the army ?
A drill sergeant !

What do you call a kangaroo at the North Pole ?
A lost kangaroo !

What do you call a rabbit dressed up as a cake ?
A cream bun !

What do you call the man who went to a fancy dress party as a sandwich ?
Roland butter !

Why did the child study in the aeroplane ?
He wanted a higher education !

Why was the broom late ?
It over swept !

Do you know the time ?
No, we haven't met yet !

What kind of hair do oceans have ?
Wavy !

What runs but never walks ?
Water !

How do you make milk shake ?
Give it a good scare !

Whats red and flies and wobbles at the same time ?
A jelly copter !

Waiter, this soup tastes funny ?
Then why aren't you laughing !

Why did the cowboy die with his boots on ?
Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket !

What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas ?
A ladder in her stocking !

Riddle me this.....

Can you spell eighty in two letters?
A-T.
Did you hear the story about the skunk?
Never mind, it stinks.
How can you double your money?
Look at it in a mirror.
How can you make seven even?
Take away the letter S.
How can you name the capital of every U.S. state in two seconds?
Washington, D.C.
How do you file a nail?
Under the letter N.
How do you make a lemon drop?
Hold it and then let go.
How does a baby ghost cry?
"Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo!"
How does a broom act?
With sweeping gestures.

 


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