Just for giggles

What do you call a scared biscuit ?
A cowardy custard cream !
What do you call a man whose father was a Canon ?
A son of a gun !
What do you call a man with two left feet ?
Whatever you like - if he tries to catch you he'll just run round in circles !
What do you call a weekly television programme about people getting washed ?
A soap opera !
What do you call a flock of birds who fly in formation ?
The red sparrows !
What do you call a bee that is always complaining ?
A grumble bee !
What would you call a friend who had an elephant on his head ?
A flatmate !
What do you call a posh pig delivering newspapers ?
Bacon rind !
What do you call a teacher who makes fireworks ?
A head banger !
What do you call a man that drills holes in teapots ?
A potholer !

What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath ?
Polly unsaturated !

What do you call a dentist in the army ?
A drill sergeant !

What do you call a kangaroo at the North Pole ?
A lost kangaroo !

What do you call a rabbit dressed up as a cake ?
A cream bun !

What do you call the man who went to a fancy dress party as a sandwich ?
Roland butter !

Why did the child study in the aeroplane ?
He wanted a higher education !

Why was the broom late ?
It over swept !

Do you know the time ?
No, we haven't met yet !

What kind of hair do oceans have ?
Wavy !

What runs but never walks ?
Water !

How do you make milk shake ?
Give it a good scare !

Whats red and flies and wobbles at the same time ?
A jelly copter !

Waiter, this soup tastes funny ?
Then why aren't you laughing !

Why did the cowboy die with his boots on ?
Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket !

What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas ?
A ladder in her stocking !

Riddle me this.....

Can you spell eighty in two letters?
Did you hear the story about the skunk?
Never mind, it stinks.
How can you double your money?
Look at it in a mirror.
How can you make seven even?
Take away the letter S.
How can you name the capital of every U.S. state in two seconds?
Washington, D.C.
How do you file a nail?
Under the letter N.
How do you make a lemon drop?
Hold it and then let go.
How does a baby ghost cry?
"Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo!"
How does a broom act?
With sweeping gestures.


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